While I don’t hear a lot of “You’re still nursing that baby?” I do still sometimes wonder if this child will be one of those 4 or 5 year olds at the park that run up and say “I am thirsty Mommy,” while I lift my shirt! I barely nursed my other 5 children. In fact the longest I nursed any of them was 5 months. So it sort of amazes me, and Hubs, that Putter’s is almost 17 months old and still going strong. When she was born, I refused to even buy bottles. I figured if I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t use them. And we didn’t. Putters has had maybe ten bottles in her life, when she had a babysitter. While I planned to nurse her until she was ready to quit, those shows that have those kids that are able to dress themselves and are heading out the door to kindergarten and stop for a quickie on their way out make me wonder… “Is it time?!” Her biting me hard enough yesterday to draw blood made me wonder harder. Hubs asked me why I would be sad to give it up. “Think of it as a graduation,” he says. But to be honest, I really love these times. I get to sit, and relax, and just enjoy her for awhile. That doesn’t happen much around here! I really think I have a much deeper bond with her then I did with my other babies at this age. She is definitely a “Mama’s Girl!” I love knowing that her chubby cheeks, and turkey thighs are my doing, and that she is rarely sick because I nurse her. I really wish I had stuck with it with my other kids! I wonder if they would have all the allergies and sensitivities that they have if I had stuck it out. I also wonder if my bond with them would be better.
When I started out with Putter’s it was amazingly easy. The other 5 were horribly difficult. Thus the giving up in short times… We both took right to it, thanks to a wonderful book I picked up at the library while pregnant with her, that showed me everything I had done wrong before. I wish I could remember the name, as our library no longer carries it. I remember the “gasp” I got from a lady at church when I was carrying it around, as it showed a full breast with a latched on baby on the cover.. oops.. And it’s been easy up til now.. I haven’t even really minded the middle of the night feedings. But lately I just feel like I am done. Again, the biting hard enough to draw blood and the fact it still hurts today, may have something to do with this feeling. But part of me, wants to continue as long as possible. I don’t want to quit, then regret it. I don’t think that if I continue, in twenty years I will regret continuing.. but I wonder if I quit, in twenty years will I regret quitting? I think I would.. so for now.. the graduation is on hold…