There seems to be a HUGE umm… “discussion” …in the blogsphere about how a wife should take care to dress for her husband, to not “let herself go” after marriage and children. It is amazing to me how many women are against this!! The arguments they come up with to prove that they should not be bothered with this point are … I don’t even know what they are!
It seems to me that these women who are arguing that looking nice for our husbands is not biblical, or he doesn’t really care, are simply being lazy… yes I said lazy! I can say this because not so long ago I was lazy! I have heard and read arguments about how “I have kids, and they take all my time and my husband doesn’t expect that from me , he loves me just the way I am.. that isn’t biblical! Where in the bible does it say we are to look beautiful?? I would rather spend the time it would take to dress nicely praying”…And the arguments go on!
Well.. God Loves you just the way you are too, but does that mean that He does not expect you to better your self, to prepare your self for him? Look at Esther who spent DAYS preparing herself to go before her husband and PRAYED while she was doing that! Is that not Biblical… there is an entire book in the bible devoted to her and her preparations!
I have 6 kids, that I home school, one a very needy toddler who simply will not allow anyone else to hold her or comfort her, I feel like I hold her or carry her 12 hours a day and spend most nights with her in our bed, in my arms! I used to be of the I just don’t have time, and my husband doesn’t really care mentality. Or why should I be the one to take the time when he doesn’t. Do we stop praying because our husband does, or stop reading our bible because he does. So why would we let ourselves go just because he does? Would we jump off a cliff because our husband does?? (had to throw that one in there.. :o)
After reading another blog post on this discussion, I decided to try it for a week. For ONE week, I would get up and dress nicely FOR my husband…I didn’t even bother with make up, I just chose a nicer comfy pair of jeans and a cute blouse over my usual sweats and tank top, The first day, not only he but the kids, all kept asking me if I was going somewhere.. then it hit me! I could take the time to dress nicely for the WORLD (dr. appts. grocery shopping etc) but my husband was getting the leftovers… by day three, my husband was telling me that he would love me dressed in sack cloth, but that he was REALLY appreciating the effort I was making to please him. By the end of the week, I was realizing that I was in a better mood, which led to me treating my children and husband better…
As for not having time.. how much longer does it take to put on jeans rather then sweats or pulling out a nicer shirt rather then the stained up tank top? How long does it take to brush your hair?! No one is saying that we should prepare ourselves for a beauty pageant.. just that we should put some effort into our appearance! I really see nothing wrong with that?!
When he comes home I greet him with a kiss, dressed, and with my hair brushed. I think that he would rather be greeted that way then with a perfectly clean house and a wife that looks like she just made it through a war zone! Does this mean that my Hubs it totally focused on my appearance?? No.. but it does mean that it makes him feel loved and secure that I take the time to do this for him. And ladies.. since I started making an effort.. so has he!!
Our hubby’s are at work all day with well dressed, (maybe even provocatively dressed!) made up women, and then they come home to a wife in dumpy sweats and a stained up tee. If your hubs knows he going to come home to wife that has made an effort to please him then he has nothing to look at at work.. Even if he truly desires to remain faithful he IS only human, and at some point a comparison is going to be made! I think this is a major place where we women can either build our house or tear it down!
It also hit me that I DO NOT want my daughters to grow up thinking that being a stay at home mom is a depressing, slumpy role in life… They see me, the way I dress, the way I act every day, all day. And they learn what they see. I want them to see that I am happy and blessed in my role and that my outward appearance shows it.
Does this mean that we are to strive for a Hollywood Barbie doll appearance?? Not at all! Why? Because that is the worlds definition of beautiful! Not Gods. Do not confuse beauty with sexiness! We are to take time to make sure that our clothing is “becoming’, “decent’, and moderate. You can read more about that here. But we are not to take into account what the world sees as beautiful that is only vanity in disguise. We are to strive to please our HUSBANDS not the world.. and in doing so we will please our Heavenly groom.
So … is it a wife’s fault when her husband cheats, or wanders?? No. If our husbands chose to cheat, THEY chose it not us. I have seen the husbands of super models cheat, so physical beauty isn’t everything and it is not a guarantee that your husband won’t cheat! But we need to build our house.. I think that applies here too. Build up your husband by putting an effort into how you look for HIM, not to look great for the world. When our husbands see that we put forth that effort to please THEM, why would they want to wander? And if they do anyway, at least we have the small comfort of knowing that we did all we could… I would hate to find out that Hubs cheated on me (and it does happen to some of us who think HE would NEVER!!) then think back to all the days I spent looking like a homeless person, and wonder…
So ladies.. a challenge… try it for ONE week… and watch what happens!