Listening- Excellent Wife Challenge Day 4


First off I want to say… I am NOT an excellent wife. This is an area I am majorly struggling with, but that God is changing in me. I am on a journey, and am inviting you to go along with me as we discover just who that woman is in Proverbs 31, and how we could possibly even dream to be like her.  I want this to be open to discussion but please be kind in your words, just because you don’t agree with something said, doesn’t mean you have to be mean.

I want to start off by saying that I know that not all churches are the same.. there are some awesome churches out there..we are just now discovering one, I hope!  The difficulties I mentioned yesterday are in churches that have all stemmed from one church, the church I grew up in. And from that church, it has spread to other churches that grew from that one.. this was something that we really didn’t even notice until recently. We just lived blindly, thinking, this is church, this is all we’ve known, so it must be right. I probably should not of the named the type of church.. because that really has nothing to do with it. There are churches out there in EVERY denomination that do not teach the truth. Being in a denomination does not make you right or wrong. There are several Calvary Chapel pastors that I listen to when I can, that I really enjoy because they are right on! And the body of those churches proves it. I am speaking of pastors and church elders, deacons whose kids I grew up with, that I know personally. That always seemed to be so right.  And now I am seeing them getting divorces, left and right. Couples that everyone thought would always be together.. and I believe now, that it leads back to the teachings in that church. When the Bible is not being taught truthfully or fully,  especially in a large setting, where thousands are blindly following you because OH you are such a great teacher, a lot of lives can be seriously messed up! That is why I desire you all to search for yourselves, these scriptures, see for yourselves if they apply to you.. pray over them, think them through, seek God’s wisdom. For too many years I blindly followed pastors, just because I knew them, believing everything they say rather then searching it out for myself and I almost let that blind faith destroy my relationship with God and my marriage.

I didn’t really get the chance to search the scriptures today. My day started off late and with my getting the kids up and ready to start school and then remembering that I had a super important appointment at 10 am. After rushing to gather a  babysitter (Grandma to the rescue!) I rushed out the door, and got to go sit in a waiting room for 1/2 an hour, only to sit in an office for another half an hour, watching some one type, to be told something I already knew. Then back home, rushed through a little schoolwork, and off to grocery shop. I meant to finish the reading part of the school day (we have chapters to read in three different books today, plus reading lessons for Little Man and Juice Box) my mom and I didn’t get home until almost 6 pm. The van was packed floor to ceiling with over $700 worth of groceries between hers and mine.. then we got to put it all away. So glad my mom saw that sign at the take and bake pizza shop about a sale! My aunt got them started while we emptied out the car (a 1/2 hour job) and put everything away, the pizza was done and gone before I was… I can not get ONE more thing in that refrigerator! WE are blessed…

Then we ate, I put the kids to bed, my brother watching them, and I went to a neighbors for my hair cut. My hair is just an out of control mop.. I have had the same hair cut pretty much for ten years. Because my hair is SO unruly, I always have it up, or it’s just everywhere. I am so tired of having all this long hair, I can’t do anything with! It tangles super easy, so even brushing it is a nightmare.  In the middle of the Oprah show my hair tie snapped, and my hair just went POOF! I kept telling Hubs that is probably the ONLY shot they have of me! 🙂 I know hubs likes it down, but I HATE it. It’s so thick though that when it’s up I get the worst headaches! So it’s a compromise.. I get shorter hair, he gets it down! It got cut shorter then I wanted it, but it still looks cute, and it will grow out quickly. This is right after it was cut, I haven’t done anything with it.. it was also about 10:30 at night after a super long day! Now here I am at midnight, Putter’s just now crashed… typing frantically to finish this so I can go to bed!

It’s a wash and wear cut, or I can add a cute clip to it, or even a cute little braid here or there.. So I can be prepared in less time.

I did get to catch up some on my reading for the Good Morning Girls Bookclub while at my appointment this morning. The book is “The Ministry Of Motherhood” by Sally Clarkson. My Logistics Of A Large Family wouldn’t fit in my purse, so I didn’t get to work on actually finishing a chapter! While this doesn’t really apply to being an Excellent Wife.. it does apply to being an Excellent Mom. She talked a lot about giving your kids TIME..time to listen to their dreams and thoughts and desires. And how that is just as important and maybe even more so then having dreams for them.  She talks about how she has dreams for her kids to grow up loving Jesus, being successful, going to college, getting good jobs, getting married and giving her lots of grandbabies… But those dreams are nothing compared to what her kids dreams are.  She talked about how she was super tired one day, and she just wanted the kids to go to bed, so she could go to bed. So she rushed through bed time routines, and as she came to her last child she rushed out a good night, see you tomorrow. To which he replied, Don’t you even have just a minute to talk to me?! And so she sat with him rubbing his back, and all these thoughts and dreams and ideas, and desires, poured out of him, that she almost missed because she was in a hurry. She was tired. Our children are unique individuals, and what we wish for them, what we desire and dream for them a lot of the times do not connect with what THEY dream and desire.  It made me feel bad that I have been doing that.. oh I am tired.. GOOD NIGHT ALREADY!! I am missing opportunities to learn about who my children really are, what they dream, what they desire. So I have decided that at night time now, we will read a little and then openly discuss our day, our thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires.

I guess you could apply that to Hubs too. So many of us fell in love with our hubs because of his little boy qualities… I used to love when he would see a roadkill and he would start talking in a weird voice, like he was the animal and go off on this story about how he got there, dead on the side of the road.. and now we tend to get upset by those same things that caused us to love them in the first place.. “REALLY.. You really want to do nothing but sit and play a war game all day? You want to watch sports all day.. GROW UP!”

Maybe spending some time with him, just rubbing his back or feet.. talking about his day, his dreams, his desires… bring out the little boy you once loved… and learn again who he is.

So that is your Challenge for today… learn something sweet about your Hubs you didn’t know before. A dream, a desire, a thought, or feeling… Simple huh? Remember though! No judging.. no saying, “You can’t be serious!! How dumb, or weird, or that’s impossible we could never do that!” Even if he says he’s always dreamed of going to live in a tent in the Ozarks for 6 months.. .. nope.. you just have to listen and learn.. that is all you get to do.  And maybe you can compromise with one weekend in a tent~ :o)

Be Blessed…



One response

  1. Amen! Thank you for the church clarification. No matter what church we attend, we need to be like the Bereans (Acts 17:10-11). They even checked into if Paul was teaching the Scriptures correctly 🙂

    I love the challenge to learn something new about Hubs. I wonder if I can? Hubs likes to talk a lot, and I think I know a whole lot about him. I’m up to seeing if I can find out more.

    I was also very convicted about how busy I get and neglect to take the time to listen carefully to my children and learn more about them. I’m gonna try to work on that too.