As some of you know, I have an 18 almost 19 yr old step daughter, that I raised with Hubs from the time she was 6 yrs old. The last few years of having her in our house were tumultuous, HARD times.. she was constantly disobedient, disrespectful, rude, mean to her siblings to the point of abuse. We sent her to live with her grandparents, where she got into trouble and was sent off to Job Corps to avoid jail time. There, though she finished high school, got her driving license and completed the program, she fell in with the VERY wrong crowd. She decided that she was a skin head lesbian, got married to her wife, and moved FAR away. About as far as she could get and still be in the country. She blocked us from her FB, and only called when she needed something. It recently came to our attention that she is pregnant. (HOW? I am not entirely sure! Kind of defeats the laws of nature!) The last time she texted me it was simply to tell me that she was a lesbian and to twist everything I said around trying to start an argument. I told her that she was free to call me or text me when she could have an adult conversation with me. I have not heard from her since… this was over 6 months ago.
Now she wants to come home. Apparently she heard about my emergency surgery, and has decided that she wants to come “help” me. I have found out though that she has broken up with her “wife” and boyfriend and is living in a homeless shelter. She has suddenly decided that I am mom and she loves me. It’s always been this way… I am not mom unless she wants something from me, or no one else will give her what she wants, then I am the last resort. So this means she has already tried all the grandparents and her biological mom and they have all told her no.
Val holding Putters when she was just hours old.
While she is and always will be my daughter, and I love her, I have 6 other children to protect and care for. I feel like if I let her come home, with all her attitudes and problems, it is going to poison my other children. At the same time, there is now a baby to think about. And with us re-discovering our relationship with God, this could be the time she comes to really know Him too! I am so confused, and undecided… but totally unsure if I can have a pierced and tattooed young adult with an attitude living with me without loosing my mind!! And can’t get over the fact I am going to be a 31 yr old grandmother!!